What's here is just so, not for real

What is here — it's just so, not for real. What is here — sometimes makes little sense. Since childhood, handfuls of tears keep dripping — I wish I could cry them back in. Dry them out with the light of the soul, so that only the pood of salt we've eaten remains. So the knives could be hidden in sheaths. Start it all over again, but without the pain. Without the terrible fights of the parents Before the holiday, on it, and after. Where the dirt piling up at full speed Is not just inside the house, but out by the door. So that the unhappy mother, reluctantly, In hidden fear and spite, Would force her own child To kill what is beating in her womb. Gnawing fists until they bleed, Adding ravines to the cheeks, Like barge haulers dragging upstream Reproaches will crawl toward the heart. They'll eat the psyche alive, Not letting her taste the miracle of life. A woman's honor resold For a cobblestone — a mountain of emeralds. That pain in the chest can't be heard anymore — It's hard to cry with a gag stuffed in. Mascara, lipstick, perfume, curlers… A forced march across young daddies. And with them it's exactly the same. A hole. They weren't really wanted either. And in the bravado of a manly hurrah — A boy is crying whose childhood was stolen. Tall, strong, but no use at all. Not one iota of responsibility there. And a shot of alcohol to the brain Switches on idiot mode. And colliding in a flight of passions, Exploring the openings of the body… She, with the lipstick, and he — a Chelubey, Are slobbering over each other in bed… And then — round the circle again. On the steps at the hospital's threshold. At the crossroads — neither here nor there… Mom is playing God again… Many are the product of unlove… Many preach it… A mocking c'est la vie Is the answer on indifferent lips. Whoever has chosen the human path — That is the soul's deliberate choice. They have no right to fall asleep forever… And not listen to the melody of the fibers. What is here — is all that is given. What is here was not invented by us. You might think nobody cares - we're all the same under the heavens. We're all awaited, but not by those beings… We are loved here by the One who for all eternity, Knowing the essence of your being, Sends you into infinity.