I was the way you wanted, the only one

I was the way you wanted me, the only one. You, my Mistress, and I your forever-drunk Master. Oh yes, and in this romance that never began, In this enchanted bliss and impossible deception — I saw you again and again in a polished glass. Like bits of glass in childhood, peering into a kaleidoscope. You're like an angel in feathers, and I'm a worthless bedbug. And those teeth like stakes — into my neck or my forehead. My soul moaned and wept, I'm the cursed Count Dracula. I bent spoons before the Pythia, begging the Oracle for advice. And you, a shark, without a twitch of your jaw, Set on taking everything down to the last drop. Oh, those howls when the psyche steps on the same old rake. And after — drool, snot, the thought: am I a slave? Like a genie… but instead of three wishes — eternity… And my efficiency tends to minus infinity. My element is darkness, you're a bright little ray of light.. My Malvina, you and only you swiped that little key… I'm the eternal martyr with a crown of thorny briars. And are there many like me? Whining, drunk, out of luck? Ready to wait as long as it takes for a whiff of fragrant perfume. Ready for anything, even for a bloody murder.. For the most downright inhuman swinishness.. Yes, I'm ready: noose, rope, beam, little stool… Has that curly pseudo-archer fallen asleep up there or what? Or maybe his optics broke — so he missed a little, I hope it's only his babyish mischief.. Then again, maybe I grumble for nothing I'm angry, I'm furious, stay back — I'll smack you. Huh.. Or maybe her heart was taken not by an arrow but a bullet… And here I am in hysterics, miserable, in a jacket, on a chair… Maybe she took all seventy rounds of a PPSh dead on target And there's no hope her feelings survived.. Maybe I still can, but she's got nothing left to do it with.. Not with her head — with her soul I want to be noticed.. Her ability to love is now completely gone… Gone is all that every cell of the body hoped for.. For selfishness, for staying unmarried — medals received.. I'll silently lay a bouquet at the monument to sensual sorrow